When Did I Start Going Through The Motions?

So here we are, the first day without James here at home, and I'm trying to be a good sport. I woke up at a decent time. I helped mom marinate lunch. I put away the clean dishes. I fed the dog. Everything seems normal, but there is that ebbing feeling under my skin because I know something is missing.

I did manage to sleep (pass out) last night without an issue, which was better than expected. Even with the sleep though, I feel tired and could probably curl up under the covers for a few more hours. But then my parents would worry like they tend to. "Are you feeling ok, mija?" "You can talk to me about anything, mijah." "This is just a step towards your future, mija." While I appreciate their concern and need to comfort me, it's not what I want or need. I just want to forget the fact I'm alone even for a little, which I can do when I sleep.

I've volunteered to work on my day off tomorrow, and instead take Wednesday off. There is a lot of work to do in the office, so I'd rather work 2 days this week, have a break, then work 2 and a half days. Though, I'm so used to a 2 day consecutive break, I know tomorrow will feel off. 

Today is Cinco de Mayo, and not too sure what that entails. I'm half Mexican, and I'm pretty sure it has something to do with tacos and Corona. Sadly I'm not 21, and also my small pool of friends are either in another state or busy tonight. So looks like this Cinco de Mayo will go uncelebrated,  not that it's a huge loss here.